Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Macho Macho Man (I Am Not)!

If you were to ask my wife to chose some words or phrases to describe me, she would probably say that macho, tough guy, burly, Mr. Fix It, handy, strapping, courageous, valiant, daring and jock are definitely not what she would use. But that's okay with me. It's so okay, that while Derek Jeter was driving home his 3,000th hit this weekend (the fact that I know that is astonishing) I was catching up on episodes of "The Bachelorette" with Anne. That's right, I'm in touch with my feminine side and I'm proud of it! I will probably catch a lot of flack from this post, but I've been catching flack for years when it comes to this. I guess I never understood how watching a bunch of muscle-bound men in tight uniforms chasing after a ball and jumping on one another is manly.

Dictionary.com defines "Manly" as having qualities traditionally ascribed to menas strength or bravery.

That definition definitely does not define me. The beginning and end of my sports career was one season of tee ball when I was seven, and then I promptly opted for performing in the school musicals. My idea of fixing something means calling a contractor. To me, getting dirty is having to pick up Barney's poop. I just don't have the usual "guy" gene that is attributed to being...well...a guy. I have never been interested in the stuff that makes up ones manhood. Sports, eh. Video games, pfft. Chugging a 12 pack of Natty Ice by myself in under an hour, no interest. I know, it's strange, right? I mean, my wife has more masculine interests than I do. 

  Tools Anne used once to open a wine bottle when she couldn't find a cork screw.

My wife taking our bed apart in preparation to move to our new apartment...as I stood idly by.

Anne gets mad at me when I take the car for an oil change because she likes to change it herself. Her father is always telling her to let me do things around the house so I can learn to be more handy, but she would rather just git-er-dun. Fine by me! But you know what? I honestly think our non-traditional roll reversal of a marriage is what makes it so great. She gets a kick out of how uncoordinated I am with things you'd expect a man to be good at, and I think it's hysterical when we get a flat and she actually wants to change the tire. When we moved into our new apartment she painted the entire place herself. I wanted to help. Really, I did. But, it's for the best if I don't. I would've just ended up painting smiley faces on the wall. 

In all honesty, what we have works. So why try and fix something that's just not broken. I actually enjoy watching episodes of "The Bachelorette" if it means that I get to spend time with her. The end!

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